break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
