forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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