i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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