3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize