imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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