Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize