I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She has the best kind of daddy issues
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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