Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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