I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize