Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
