I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
They should really pass out barf bags in church
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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