Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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