Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
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I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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