If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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