we have officially lost it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
