no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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