At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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