drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
