I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize