fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize