you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
