but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
