No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
