I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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