So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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