if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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