Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
