just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
