I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
a search helicopter?!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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