I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
