were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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