i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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