"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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