Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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