Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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