she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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