things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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