Porn is love you can see.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
