Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Shame - the story of my life.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize