Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
