Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
