forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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