Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
