p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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