before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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