That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
