I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
