Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
