it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
