as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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