Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
