I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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