So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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