new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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