The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
