You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
