what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
