I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
