She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
