Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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