If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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