is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
